Monday, February 20, 2012

Finding Hope in Sad Days

Friday morning after dropping my husband off for a three week school, I returned to find a message on my facebook that my Grandmother had suffered a heart attack the night before and was not expected to live past the weekend.  I briefly considered flying out and seeing her, however was advised to stay home and monitor the situation by telephone. 
It has been something of a struggle for me, Grandma Mary is easily one of my favorite family members.  It is not easy to stay 2000 miles away when I could go to see her.  Eight years ago, before I had kids and a husband, she had her first stroke and I spent a week with her after she was well enough to leave the hospital.  It was the most time I ever spent with her alone--she took me all over Oakland where she lived, and exercised every day to stay fit.  She volunteered at the local thrift shop and visited boutiques and got pedicures. 
This is a picture from that visit.  She was beautiful and vibrant and full of life.  
The past few years her health has deteriorated and she has spent much time in the hospital.  She would be 90 this March.  I have tried to find ways to explain things to my sons, they didn't really know her and so they aren't really upset or interested in the details of what's happening.  Last night I called and talked to her, she doesn't talk much anymore, but I got to tell her I love her and that I'll miss her.  My youngest son, Moses talked to her for a long time, he told her all about Scooby Doo and the monsters.  We watched Royal Wedding last night, this is how I think of her, singing like an angel and dancing. 
This video from Mormon Messages has brought some comfort to me--I know Grandma will be happier and freer when this is all over.  We will miss her, but she will be where she belongs.